1) Be Prepared.

2) Know Your Strengths. REALLY Know Your Weaknesses.

3)Try Hard to Remain Objective.

4) No name-calling or disparaging remarks about the other side.

5) Remember: there are two sides to every coin. You must turn the coin over to see the other side!

6) Identify each party’s Essential Needs (what matters most), both yours and theirs.

7) Be open-minded.

8) Listen to hear, and to understand.

9) Be open to solutions, particularly creative ones.

10) Remember, the ability to “live with the decision” is the goal, not “winning”.

11) “win/lose” = lose/lose. Only “win/win” = win/win.

12) Listen to your Mediator. He/she may know things you do not.

13) Try to be flexible. And stay flexible.

14) There are multiple benefits to finality. “Going on with your life” is just one, but a mighty big one!

15) Frequently, a compromised settlement beats a good lawsuit.

16) Do you really want 6/12 strangers deciding your case? Or would you rather be master of your own destiny?

17) Try to stay open-minded, especially when the going gets tough.

18) Don’t repeat yourself/your same argument. If you find yourself doing that, reconsider your position.

19) Be respectful and polite. (Bees are attracted to nectar, not vinegar.)

20) Consider this: “the older I get, the more I value resolution of disputes.”